one … the winter sun is opening one eye
I close both of mine to face the unknown
of sitting, uncomfortable in this space
one … I begin again because my life
is in chaos with my appetites
raging, hunger in my belly
one … I am mistress of my mind
I’m not doing this right
and I can’t stop thinking
one … how much time’s passed
can I stay still ‘til the gong
I’ll open an eye and check the clock
one … this is more difficult than I thought
I don’t believe people do this for days
being still, counting just … one
now my leg is on fire and I
rustle my bones into different order
wondering if anyone noticed … one
I begin again, my shortness of breath
I must cough, the wind’s caught
in my throat, I count again
one … inhale, exhale
my ears are thundering
this roar is my heart
one … the door creaks in wind
the room and I breathe
and outside not one
but two birds singing.
